Infertility sucks

Not a really cute or witty title, but it's a good one. Infertility does suck. It is singularly the worst thing I have ever experienced.

We've been trying off and on to start a family for over 3 1/2 years. During this time, I've experienced 3 miscarriages and lost a tube and an ovary to a botched test. Add to that the insensitivity of others around me. All the advice in the world isn't going to get and keep me pregnant. I have a hormonal disorder that affects fertility. It also makes it extremely hard to lose weight. Losing weight would help improve my fertility somewhat (or so they hope), but the disorder makes losing a pound just as hard for me as it is for someone else to lose 20. On top of that, my thyroid sucks. I can relax all I want and not think about and I still won't get pregnant.

Infertility sucks even more because of how it makes me feel about myself. Women should be able to get pregnant and have children. Hell, 17 year olds get knocked up all the time. But my body has failed me and I feel like a total failure sometimes when I think of it. I can achieve this honor or that degree, but I can't do the one thing my body was designed for.

All in all....infertility sucks.

A lapse in time

Wow...it's been too long since I've written here. I am going to try to be much better at this. Now that some exciting changes have occured in my life, maybe I'll have more to write about.

And here are the exciting changes.

We moved....to an apartment. It's an older one but pretty spacious. We're paying slightly more rent than we were at the house we were renting, but we're not paying utilities. We're planning on eventually buying our own home and saving where we can will help that dream come true.

I got a new car. Yup, I got a little standard Mazda. It's a new model, but we're saving over $100 a month on car payments and close to $100 in gas as well.

And last, but not least, I've developed meat protein allergies. Meat protein allergies are not very common. In fact, they're pretty rare, but those who know me, know this is pretty normal for me. Like tearing the tendon in my ankle that only 1% of people ever tear, or losing my tube and ovary to an infection caused by a common medical diagnostic test. That infection had a .01% chance of occuring. I guess you could say I'm in one in a million. ;-)

Anyhow, because of the new meat protein allergy, I've had to revamp how I eat. Luckily, my husbeast is always up for a new adventure, especially when it come to food. Since I can't tolerate pork, beef, or poultry (the jury is still out on fish, but it will be awhile before we test that one) I've swwitched to a plant based diet. He happily tries and enjoys all the new foods I experiment with. At home, we've switched to a mostly vegan diet and, when out, I eat vegetarian meals if a vegan alternative isn't possible. Since my meat allergy progressed so quickly (I've had a pork allergy for years, but in the past year, the beef and poultry allergies have appeared), I am only indulging in dairy and/or egg on occasion as I do not want to develop further food allergies.

At first, I felt a bit sad about not being able to enjoy things everyone else does, but then I realized this was an interesting challenge and something that could be a lot of fun. Because we try to eat a vegan diet at home, I now cook about 99% of what we eat from scratch. With this change, both the husbeast and I feel better and we both have more energy. We're both also starting to lose weight.

I am planning to come back and write about much of what I make, etc. I am also still busy crafting, so there will be pictures of this stuff, as well. :)

Speaking of making food, dinner tonight will be broken whole wheat spaghetti mixed with a fresh tomato sauce I made (6 fresh tomatoes, 1 can of diced tomatoes, 1 fresh onion, 1 lb fresh white mushrooms, 1 lb silken tofu, 1 can of straw mushrooms, fresh garlic, olive oil, basil, pepper, red wine, and a pinch of sugar simmer gently for 35 minutes), topped with whole wheat bread crumbs and a tiny bit of vegan margarine and baked until the top was crisp. Dessert is going to be a fresh blueberry, strawberry, and kiwi fruit crumble.

Just let them get married

Really, just let members of the GLBTQ community get married. I don't understand the upset that people have about this particular issue. In a time where marriages are as likely to end in divorce as they are to survive*, I think that two people who are willing to pledge to spend their lives together should be given that chance. I know some people balk at the idea of calling it marriage. Call it a commitment, call it whatever you want, but let them have equal rights. I've seen many GLBQT couples whose commitment to each other has spanned DECADES. If you've spent your life with someone, you should have the same rights as any heterosexual couple.



*Divorce statistics in America for marriage
Marriage Divorce statistics (in percent)
First Marriage 45% to 50% marriages end in divorce
Second Marriage 60% to 67% marriages end in divorce
Third Marriage 70% to 73% marriages end in divorce

Source of this Divorce Statistics: Jennifer Baker, Forest Institute of Professional Psychology,Springfield

Rambling on health care

I am sick, which royally sucks, but I'm privileged enough that my job provides good health insurance. That got me to thinking about who I work with. I work with kids who don't have access to on-going health care nor do they have a regular doctor. Parents have no other option than to treat the kid with home remedies or rush them to ER.

I don't know what the solution is to our health care issues, but I do know that these kids are suffering and it really breaks my heart.