Infertility sucks

Not a really cute or witty title, but it's a good one. Infertility does suck. It is singularly the worst thing I have ever experienced.

We've been trying off and on to start a family for over 3 1/2 years. During this time, I've experienced 3 miscarriages and lost a tube and an ovary to a botched test. Add to that the insensitivity of others around me. All the advice in the world isn't going to get and keep me pregnant. I have a hormonal disorder that affects fertility. It also makes it extremely hard to lose weight. Losing weight would help improve my fertility somewhat (or so they hope), but the disorder makes losing a pound just as hard for me as it is for someone else to lose 20. On top of that, my thyroid sucks. I can relax all I want and not think about and I still won't get pregnant.

Infertility sucks even more because of how it makes me feel about myself. Women should be able to get pregnant and have children. Hell, 17 year olds get knocked up all the time. But my body has failed me and I feel like a total failure sometimes when I think of it. I can achieve this honor or that degree, but I can't do the one thing my body was designed for.

All in all....infertility sucks.